How to create a New Years Resolution you keep
Ah yes, the annual new year’s resolution declaration is upon us, but before you go claiming this year to be your year let’s get a few things straight about that resolution of yours. To be fair not everyone breaks their resolution so don’t take my tone as being overly cynical to the notion of making change to start the year, but therein lies the dilemma. There is almost this sense of urgency as one year ends to analyze what went wrong and how we need to fix it. One of the reason’s I don’t particularly care for New Year’s resolutions might come from the fact that i think we have every day available to us to make the changes we seek and that certainly shouldn’t come from a place of panic or desperation to try to tip the balance of some proverbial scale of time to make one year better than the other. I do get the notion however that you want to capture or reemerge into the life you always deserved, so much so in fact that I have built my coaching programs around that very notion. The funny thing about change is that it is not a singular moment or built off of one decision but rather it is built on the foundation of countless decisions and actions.
Why we quit
Before we talk about how to create a New Years Resolution you keep, first let’s talk about why we quit them in the first place. I have compiled a list of a few reasons why we tend to walk away from our resolutions and goals in general, let me know if you feel personally attacked because if so you might want to make sure you read this article to the end.
- We bite off more than we can chew- Have you ever found yourself in over your head because you set a goal that was way beyond your ability to accomplish?
- We didn’t create the goal for the right reason- If your reason for creating a goal or resolution is not strong enough then giving up will be that much easier
- Temptation and Distractions- regardless of what your goal is there will always be temptations and that’s because you naturally want to stay in the comfort of your habits even if they are not healthy ones
- Not Seeing results quick enough- In an age of instant gratification, the cause and effect channels that flood our brain with dopamine hits have made waiting out our reward that much harder
- Not Believing in ourselves- Our old faithful friend doubt has a funny way of showing up at the horizon of good and great and sadly he has a way of winning
So what can we do about it?
How can we create New Year’s Resolutions or goals in general that are going to last?
I want to use this as an opportunity to invite you on to a one-on-one coaching call to discuss how working together we can not only tackle your goals but can help you live a life of purpose and impact. Get on my calendar for a free call- https://calendly.com/michaelrolon/coaching-consult
I do hope we get a chance to talk one on one but I still most definitely want to share some insight straight out of using myself as a guinea pig these last few years of goal setting and making change. Here are some of the ways I have been able to stand tall as the warrior I am and I believe you can as well!
Create realistic goals
It’s important to remember that when we set out to create a new year’s resolution we focus on obtainable goals and not dreams. What is something that you know if you put your mind to it that you can obtain? As a dreamer, it might sound weird for me to suggest tapering your fantasy and coming back to reality but it really is sound advice. What I suggest you do to counter the need to silence the dreams is use a leveled approach. Something like 3 levels of succeeding at a goal. The target goal, the baseline goal, and the dream goal. Let’s use the example of hitting a financial goal and say your goal for the new year is to make six figures. The first thing you should do is look at your current situation and see if that is a realistic goal. Second, if that is truly your focus then that is what you should aim for but we want to also avoid the crushing disappointment of missing our goal by recognizing the minimum you can make in the next year that will satisfy your attempt, and finally, we want to state the amount that if everything were to go perfectly you would have the potential to hit.
Using this example we could say that the minimum goal for the year could be $80,000 and base that off a minimal uptick of effort so that if all you did was the bare minimum of added effort you can hit that. Then we want to focus on our main goal of $100,000 and base that off the fact that we plan to stay consistent with continued added effort, and finally we will say our dream income level would be $132,000 and base that off the fact that if we maximize our added effort plus everything goes perfect and maybe throw in some luck it’s something we could possibly hit.
The key to recognizing a realistic goal versus a dream is by being honest with ourselves and our ability to make any changes that are required to hit that goal.
Create a Plan
You know the saying “if you fail to plan, plan to fail”? Well, it’s absolutely accurate! When we attempt to accomplish a goal without a plan there are only a few outcomes that are going to happen.
You somehow someway get lucky and stumble upon succeeding, This is beyond rare and should not be banked on as a realistic option.
You get quickly overwhelmed by the amount of work that is involved.
You give up at the first sign of failure or setbacks
The reason why it can seem like an impossible task to create a plan to accomplish a goal or resolution is that it is unbelievably easy to be solely focused on the end result. Clients who work with me will attest to the fact that I am a big fan of developing soft skills. One minute it’s wax on, wax off, the next you are blocking high knees and going all Cobra Kai on their ass! I want to share a simple approach to not just tackling a goal in the next year but dominating it.
It takes roughly 130 credit hours to get a bachelor’s degree. I like to think of the time it takes to develop a new skill or hit a goal with the same logic. But If i was to tell you to dedicate 130 hours over the next year to your goal you would probably laugh at me. This is because you are looking at accomplishing 130 hours as a whole, the value of a plan is to create a step-by-step approach to hitting that goal so that over time the goal is met. The easiest way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time and all that jazz…
So here’s the plan
Consciously focus on your goal for 20 minutes a day, make that time daily dedicated to your goal. That can be learning about your goal, working on accomplishing it, or sitting in thought about it.
Then 1 hour a week dedicate time to remove distractions and focus on your goal for one set hour
And finally once a Month dedicate a 2 hour block of time to work on your goal.
If you follow this plan you would dedicate 197 hours to your goal, the equivalent of 130 hours towards a bachelors degree and 60 hours towards a masters degree. And that is how you own a goal!
Simply put, find the milestones that matter to you as you work towards your goal and celebrate them frequently. I started, I didn’t quit, 30 days down, 3 months down, 6 months down, 1 year completed… The celebrations along the way will add to the excitement giving you something to look forward to as well as keeping the momentum going during the boring moments of working towards a goal.
Set a Pace that works for you
Maybe you don’t want to dedicate a year to your goal or maybe you want to work towards a goal that is going to take years. Whatever the workload that makes sense for you that you know you can do and more importantly want to do should be where you start. Much like creating realistic goals you should set a realistic pace that allows you to remain consistent.
Be Kind to yourself
GRACE, GRACE, GRACE…
Want it, GIve It, and Use it! Real change is not found hanging out with pocket lint. It takes time, energy, patience, and fortitude. All of which can be extremely exhausting. Set some boundaries for yourself that allow you to stay true to yourself because what good is accomplishing a goal or making a change if you are torturing yourself in the process. When we make the changes in our life for the right reason it should feel natural and when the hardships come we can rely on our intent to get through and when all else fails give yourself the grace to say tomorrow is a new day and I will get back on my feet and try again!
I wish you nothing but the best in your pursuit of the best life possible for you and if there is ever anyway I can be off assistance please feel free to reach out to me https://michaelrolon.com/contact/
Warrior Of Impact
Michael Rolon is the Owner/founder of Warrior Of Impact Coaching and works directly with individuals looking to find their purpose in life and he helps them make a greater impact. As a Full-Time single Dad and Entrepreneur, Michael is passionate about serving single parents, current and would-be entrepreneurs, and current and future leaders. For more information or to schedule a consult check out our contact page: https://michaelrolon.com/contact/